Most people need help with planning a funeral. A funeral director is there to support you and your family every step of the way. We’ve put together this guide so you know what to expect.
What is a funeral director?
A funeral director plans and coordinates a funeral. They can organise everything from collecting the body of the person who has died, through to planning the service and the wake. They’re sometimes called an undertaker.
What are the duties of a funeral director?
A funeral director will help you before, during and after the funeral. It’s up to you how much support you’d like. You can choose to have a funeral director arrange every part of the funeral, or just some parts.
We’ve listed the main things a funeral director does below. It’s worth knowing that not all funeral directors provide all the support on this list. So if there are specific things you need, make sure you ask the funeral director if they can provide them.
Before the funeral
- Collect the person who has died and take them to the funeral home
- Meet with you and your family to begin planning the funeral
- Prepare and dress the body of the person who has died for the funeral and also for viewing in the chapel of rest, if this is something you’d like to do
- Take care of the paperwork including making the application for the burial or cremation
- Arrange the venue for the funeral service and cremation or burial
- Find an officiant to lead the ceremony – this could be a minister, imam, rabbi, celebrant or other religious leader, depending on your choice
- Organise transport including hearses, limousines and any special requests such as horse-drawn carriages
- Organise the design and printing of the order of service
- Coordinate with florists for the flower arrangements
- Help you with choosing a coffin or shroud
- Arrange any obituaries or notices
- Help with any other special requests you have to make the funeral the perfect send-off for your loved one
During the funeral
- Make sure that everything runs smoothly and answer any questions
- Make sure that everyone who attends the funeral understands where to go and what to do
- Help the pallbearers to make sure the coffin is carried properly and safely
- Speak with the minister or any other person who is leading the ceremony, to make sure that everything is ready
- Lead the service – some funeral directors can officiate the funeral service for you
After the funeral
- Collect the ashes and keep them until you’re ready to collect them
- Help you with choosing where and how to scatter the ashes
- Help you to choose and arrange a memorial such as a headstone
- Distribute any charity donations collected as part of the funeral
- Help you to find bereavement support
What a funeral director will ask you
As part of the funeral planning process, a funeral director will ask you questions to help them understand what you’d like.
They’ll ask you questions about your loved one, such as:
- What were they like?
- What were their interests and hobbies?
- Were they religious?
- Did they leave any final wishes?
They’ll also ask you practical questions, including:
- Do you have the death certificate?
- How many people will be going to the funeral?
- Where would you like the funeral to take place?
- Do you want to have a cremation or burial?
- What is your budget?
What questions to ask a funeral director
When you meet with the funeral director, you might find it helpful to ask these questions:
- What services do you provide?
- Can I choose a burial or a cremation?
- Can I choose the day and time of the funeral?
- Can you help with the order of service?
- Can you arrange transport? What are the options?
- Can you help to organise the wake?
- Can you help to arrange a memorial after the funeral?
- Can I see a full list of the funeral costs before I make a decision?
- Do you offer flexible payment terms for the funeral?
Don’t worry if you forget to ask something when you meet with the funeral director. You’ll usually have a couple more meetings or discussions to finalise the details. You can also call them to ask anything else that you need to know. It’s perfectly normal to forget to ask a few things. Funeral directors are used to this and are there to support you.
Ask about funeral costs
It’s good to talk about the cost of the funeral, especially if you’re worried about what you can afford. You can ask the funeral director to explain all the costs and which items are optional. You can also ask them about flexible payment plans and other ways to help you pay for the funeral. Learn more about paying for a funeral.
Do I have to use a funeral director?
No, you don’t have to use a funeral director to plan a funeral. However, most people prefer to because it can be a big help at a difficult time. Funeral directors can take care of everything, including all the legal paperwork. This allows you to focus on coping with your feelings and spending time with friends and family.
If you do want to arrange a funeral without a funeral director, you’ll find it easier if you have a simple ceremony. The more complicated your funeral plans are, the more likely it is that you’ll need a funeral director to help you.
How to find a funeral director
Most people choose a funeral director who’s local to them or the place where the funeral is taking place. You can find funeral directors near you by:
- Use our directory of funeral directors to search your options and see prices
- Ask family and friends for recommendations about who they have used
- Speak to your local authority or Citizens Advice Bureau – they may have a list of funeral directors in your area
When you’re choosing a funeral director, it’s a good idea to check if they’re a member of The National Association of Funeral Directors (NAFD) or The National Society of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors (SAIF).
Learn more about planning a funeral
Photo by The Good Funeral Guide on Unsplash