What is a memorial service?

candles burning for remembrance

Arranging a memorial service? Or want to learn more about them before you do? Here we’ll take you through the difference between a memorial service and a funeral service and how to plan one for a loved one.

What is a memorial service?

A memorial service is an opportunity for friends and family to come together to pay their respects to someone who’s passed away. It can be a formal ceremony or it can be a more casual get-together. It can take place shortly after their funeral or you can hold a service for them years later. It’s a chance to remember the person in the way you’d like. And it could help you cope with their loss or celebrate their life.

Is a memorial service the same as a funeral?

Not exactly. A funeral service and a memorial service are both types of ceremony where you can pay your respects to someone who’s died. The difference is that the body is there at a funeral service (usually in a coffin). But the body is not there at a memorial service. Instead some people might have the person’s ashes in an urn or a picture of the person who died.

What happens at a memorial service?

There are no rules about what happens at a memorial service. You can choose what to do. This depends on the final wishes of the person who died, what you’d like to include and what’s suitable for your budget.

To give you an idea of what to include here are some suggestions:

What to include on a memorial service program

You don’t have to make a memorial service program if you’re planning a smaller event. But if you’d like to put one together here are a few ideas of what to include:

Learn how to make an order of service.

How long does a memorial service last?

A memorial service can last as long as you’d like. It could range from 20 to 60 minutes depending on what you include. But it really is down to what you think is suitable.

Where to hold a memorial service

You can hold a memorial service anywhere you like. It could be a small gathering at home or it could be held immediately after a cremation at the crematorium.

Here are some venue ideas to make arranging a memorial service easier:

Graveside

A graveside memorial service could happen immediately after the burial. Or you could have it a few days later in the cemetery. You could also hold a regular memorial service for the person each year on a date that’s special to you.

Graveside memorials can be religious. But they don’t have to be. Keep in mind that a churchyard or cemetery may have limits on how many people can attend. And try to be aware of other mourners who may be in the cemetery. Because graveside memorials are typically a time of mourning this tends to set the tone of the service. So this might help you decide if it’s the right fit for the memorial service you’re planning.

Crematorium

If the person who passed away is being cremated a memorial service at the crematorium could be suitable. Staff at the crematorium will be able to help you plan it. And you can also think about how you’d like to include the ashes. Would you like to place the urn at the front of the room with a flower display? Or perhaps next to a photo of the person? Whatever you include in the memorial service the crematorium can have a more traditional feel. So if that’s not what you’d like consider one of the other options below.

At home

A memorial service at home can be a personal get-together with close family and friends or it can be a larger event – it’s up to you. Have a think about what you want to include. Are flowers important? Do you need an order of service? Or would you just like to gather and share stories about your loved one? Being at home can be a more private way of saying goodbye. So if you want to keep things small this might be the best option for you. It could be the start of a tradition where the family can get together to remember the person who passed away – a good opportunity to get some old photos out and share memories.

Private venue

Having a memorial service at home may give you the personal touch you’re looking for. But if you need more space for a large number of family and friends a private venue might be the answer.

You could hire a venue like:

A private venue could give you the space you need to share memories of your loved one with the people who are most important. It also means you can ask someone else to take care of the catering for you, if this is easier.

Do you bring flowers to a memorial service?

Guests aren’t expected to take anything to a memorial service unless the person organising it asks them to. You could send a card or flowers to the family of the person who died. Some families set up a donation page where you can donate to a charity instead of organising flowers.

What to wear to a memorial service

Do you have to wear black to a memorial service? Not necessarily. The person organising the service will usually set out the dress code on the invites. This could be an accessory in the favourite colour of the person who died. It could be brightly coloured outfits. Or it could be traditional black. If you’re unsure check with the person who is organising the service.

How to arrange a memorial service

Now that you have a clearer idea of what a memorial service can include here’s a list of how to arrange one to make planning easier:

More memorial service ideas

Still not found the right thing to include? Here are some ideas which might help:

For more ideas read our guide to unique memorial services.

 

Photo by Eli Solitas on Unsplash

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Funeral Director fees

The price quoted contains the Funeral Director fees for a simple funeral. This includes:

  • Funeral Director fees for meetings, paperwork and running the funeral
  • Collection of the deceased and care prior to funeral
  • Hearse or appropriate vehicle for transport to the funeral
  • Basic coffin

The Funeral Director fees quoted do not include third party costs (often called disbursements). The Funeral Director will guide you through your options. These costs are:

  • Cremation or burial fees
  • Medical certificate for cremation
  • Clergy or officiant fee for conducting the ceremony

In addition to the disbursements you may want to discuss optional costs with your Funeral Director - these could include:

  • Funeral flowers
  • Memorial (venue hire, catering etc)
  • Memorial headstone
  • Orders of service
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What is a Direct Cremation?

A Direct Cremation is an alternative to the traditional funeral. This involves the cremation of the deceased without a funeral service. A Direct Cremation is generally the most economic option because costs of the coffin, preparation of the body, funeral service and expensive transportation are not included. However, many people choose Direct Cremations for reasons other than expense, for example:

  • - Wanting to have a memorial at a different time to the cremation
  • - Expressed desire from the deceased to not have a ceremony
  • - Individuals with relatives who face big physical or geographical challenges in coming together for a ceremony

The prices quoted for Direct Cremations include:

  • All charges, meetings and paperwork for the cremation
  • Collection of deceased and care prior to cremation
  • A simple coffin and urn for the ashes
  • Cremation fees and delivery of ashes to the family
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Attended funeral

This is Funeral Choice’s best estimate of this Funeral Director’s fees for an Attended Funeral, which is where family and friends have a ceremony or service for the deceased person at the same time as they attend their burial or cremation.

This price includes the following:

  • Taking care of all necessary legal and administrative arrangements
  • Collecting and transporting the deceased person from the place of death (normally within 15 miles of the funeral director’s premises) into the funeral director’s care
  • Care of the deceased person before the funeral in appropriate facilities.
  • Providing a suitable coffin
  • Optional viewing of the deceased person for family and friends, by appointment with the funeral director
  • At a date and time you agree with the funeral director, taking the deceased person direct to the agreed cemetery or crematorium (normally within 20 miles of the funeral director’s premises) in a hearse or other appropriate vehicle

In addition to the Funeral Director’s fee, there will be third party costs to consider (sometimes called disbursements) to cover the other aspects of a funeral (such as the crematorium or burial fees). Your chosen Funeral Director will be able to provide these for you.

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Unattended funeral

This is Funeral Choice’s best estimate of this Funeral Director’s fees and the crematorium fee for an Unattended Funeral, which is where family and friends may choose to have a ceremony, event or service for the deceased person, but they do not attend the burial or cremation itself. This is also known as a Direct Cremation.

This price includes the following:

  • Funeral Director's fees
  • Crematorium fee (for an unattended funeral) as selected by the Funeral Director

In addition to this fee, there might be additional third party costs to consider (sometimes called disbursements). Your chosen Funeral Director will be able to explain these for you.

If you wish to attend the funeral, you should view the “Attended Funeral” price instead.

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Why is this price Estimated?

We work hard to ensure the Funeral Director Fees we display are accurate and up to date. However, unlike with our partners, we cannot guarantee this price is correct today.

Funeral Director fees

The price quoted contains the Funeral Director fees for a simple funeral. This includes:

  • Funeral Director fees for meetings, paperwork and running the funeral
  • Collection of the deceased and care prior to funeral
  • Hearse or appropriate vehicle for transport to the funeral
  • Basic coffin

The Funeral Director fees quoted do not include third party costs (often called disbursements). The Funeral Director will guide you through your options. These costs are:

  • Cremation or burial fees
  • Medical certificate for cremation
  • Clergy or officiant fee for conducting the ceremony

In addition to the disbursements you may want to discuss optional costs with your Funeral Director - these could include:

  • Funeral flowers
  • Memorial (venue hire, catering etc)
  • Memorial headstone
  • Orders of service
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Funeral Choice charity donation

To redeem the £20 charity donation all you have to do is select the charity from the dropdown list in the Make Contact form. Once you have confirmed arrangements with that funeral director send us an email to info@yourfuneralchoice.com confirming the service has been arranged. After we receive this email we will make the donation to the chosen charity and confirm back to you.

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