Say it with flowers: gifts to give the recently bereaved

picture of a women giving flower at a funeral

From memorialising the deceased to offering an expression of support, what is an appropriate gift for someone who is grieving? We look at how you can express your sympathy through the perfect present.

You have written a condolence letter , but what about a present? Whether you want to pay your respects to the deceased or give family members and close friends something practical during a difficult time, here is some guidance on gift-giving.

Floral tributes

For centuries, it has been custom to send flowers following the death of a loved one – sympathy flowers are addressed and sent directly to relatives and close friends of the deceased, and funeral flowers serve as a tribute to the deceased at the funeral ceremony. You can send flowers according to the qualities they represent – for example, white stargazer lilies are a popular choice as the symbolise sympathy – but you could also send a something that can be planted so that it lasts longer.

Something to remember

Gifts that memorialise the deceased are a popular choice. You might consider sending a piece of jewellery, ornament or photo frame that has been engraved with a comforting message, or contribute to the cost of a bench or plaque that can be placed somewhere special to remember the departed. Alternatively, there might be a book, collection of poetry or album that reminds you of the deceased. Sending an inscribed copy to the bereaved can make for a touching keepsake.

Practical presents 

When someone is grieving, looking after themselves and those around them can feel like less of a priority. This is where a practical present can really help someone who has suffered a loss. Prepare a home-cooked meal for them to eat with their family, pack a food hamper full of supplies so that they don’t have to worry about heading to the supermarket, or offer to help with pet care or the school run as this can help reduce the to-do list of someone who is going through a difficult time.

Making a donation

Family members often request people do not give gifts or send flowers, instead they might have an organisation in mind that meant a lot to the deceased. In these cases, mourners are invited to make a donation – it might be to a charity that funds medical research, the care home or hospice where the deceased spent their final weeks, or a local community initiative that the deceased supported during their life.

Remember that you don’t have to give your gift immediately after the funeral – sending something several weeks after the ceremony can be a thoughtful way of reminding someone that you are still thinking of them and appreciate that the grieving process takes time. It’s also appropriate to send a gift on the anniversary of a person’s death, their birthday or the first Christmas or major event where their absence will be keenly felt by all of those in attendance.



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Funeral Director fees

The price quoted contains the Funeral Director fees for a simple funeral. This includes:

  • Funeral Director fees for meetings, paperwork and running the funeral
  • Collection of the deceased and care prior to funeral
  • Hearse or appropriate vehicle for transport to the funeral
  • Basic coffin

The Funeral Director fees quoted do not include third party costs (often called disbursements). The Funeral Director will guide you through your options. These costs are:

  • Cremation or burial fees
  • Medical certificate for cremation
  • Clergy or officiant fee for conducting the ceremony

In addition to the disbursements you may want to discuss optional costs with your Funeral Director - these could include:

  • Funeral flowers
  • Memorial (venue hire, catering etc)
  • Memorial headstone
  • Orders of service

What is a Direct Cremation?

A Direct Cremation is an alternative to the traditional funeral. This involves the cremation of the deceased without a funeral service. A Direct Cremation is generally the most economic option because costs of the coffin, preparation of the body, funeral service and expensive transportation are not included. However, many people choose Direct Cremations for reasons other than expense, for example:

  • - Wanting to have a memorial at a different time to the cremation
  • - Expressed desire from the deceased to not have a ceremony
  • - Individuals with relatives who face big physical or geographical challenges in coming together for a ceremony

The prices quoted for Direct Cremations include:

  • All charges, meetings and paperwork for the cremation
  • Collection of deceased and care prior to cremation
  • A simple coffin and urn for the ashes
  • Cremation fees and delivery of ashes to the family

Why is this price Estimated?

We work hard to ensure the Funeral Director Fees we display are accurate and up to date. However, unlike with our partners, we cannot guarantee this price is correct today.


Funeral Choice charity donation

To redeem the £20 charity donation all you have to do is select the charity from the dropdown list in the Make Contact form. Once you have confirmed arrangements with that funeral director send us an email to confirming the service has been arranged. After we receive this email we will make the donation to the chosen charity and confirm back to you.